Unprepared for Snow in Arizona!!

I was surprised (even shocked) to come over the top of a hill in Arizona and find a foot of snow on the ground... After all, Arizona has a reputation for hot dry weather and desert - so I had packed clothes for hot, dry conditions! Now here I was driving into Flagstaff where the weather was 2C (35F) dressed in shorts and sandals. I felt a bit foolish getting out of the car dressed for summer in a place that was clearly having 'winter' and realizing that my research and planning had been based on the inaccurate assumption that what happens in Phoenix applies to all of Arizona. My intention was to go rafting through the Grand Canyon and have the opportunity to see one of the most spectacular desert environments in the world... and then I discovered that the water temperature in the Colorado River would be 4C (40F). I own a dry suit, neoprene and lots of cold water paddling gear - I kayak about 10 months of the year in Canada where cold water is normal... but none of it was with me in Arizona! I found myself scrambling to find what I needed and questioning whether I would be able to even take the trip. I don't know about you - but I don't like that feeling of being unprepared... of realizing that my planning was inadequate... or realizing that my mistakes could put me in an uncomfortable (even dangerous) situation.
I was fortunate to find 2 stores still open at 7pm in Flagstaff - one was a gear store that sold wool socks ($25) and merino wool shirts ($95) and one was a bargain store that just happened to have several pairs of micro-fibre tights for $5.00 - a reasonable addition to my shorts and wools socks to keep warm! So while it wasn't a perfect outcome, it was a reasonable solution - but it cost more $$, took most of the evening and left me feeling somewhat stressed and uncertain when I had planned for relaxation... In the end, the trip was spectacular, the scenery was amazing and I was adequately warm - and next time, I plan to research more carefully!

How often do we find ourselves basing our decisions on inaccurate or incomplete information? How are our results affected when we don't 'know' what we need to know? What level of additional stress is created when we have to deal with unexpected crises?

In our organizations, it is not possible to know everything that is going on and the information we are missing can have serious implications. Of course it's hard to identify how missing information may be impacting our decisions - after all we frequently don't know what we don't know, until we find ourselves faced with the results of not knowing. However there are numerous tools and strategies we can use to help reduce the risk... There are 2 upcoming sessions in Ottawa ON Canada  that are outlined below that can help.

Organization Workshop with Barry Oshry on June 7-8 - a not to be missed opportunity to learn from a leading expert in this field.

To Register Contact Dawn Kingsbury, ODNOO
T: 613-800-4725
E: info@odnoo.org
W: http://www.odnoo.org/Default.aspx?pageId=661055&eventId=475132&EventViewMode=EventDetails

Conflict in Organizations - October 1 - an opportunity to explore the link between conflict, success and profitability - and where the "leakage" may be costing you!

Date: Friday October 1, 2012
Time: 8:30 - 4:30pm
Location: Country Inn and Suites, 578 Terry Fox Dr, Kanata ON
Cost: $369.00 + HST (before 31 July, 2012) / $447.00 starting Aug 1, 2012

Ruth Sirman is a veteran in the world of workplace mediation specializing in assisting groups to find practical and workable solutions to seemingly intractable conflicts. Her professional practice takes her across North America working with federal, provincial and territorial governments, corporations, NGO’s, churches, communities and the courts. She designed and teaches the acclaimed Power to Resolve Program including modules on Discovering Your Resolution Quotient, I’m OK – It’s Everyone Else Who Needs Help!!, Mastering Difficult Situations and People You Find Challenging, From Discord to Dialogue, Organziational Conflict 911. Her website is www.canmediate.com

Is it Bullying? Is it Harassment? Or Is It Effective Management Designed To Get A Difficult Job Done?

Typically the response to these questions will be totally dependent on who you ask, their perspective and personal experience of the situation. Certainly in the situation that is currently on the CBC news about the RCMP leadership conflicts there are very different stories circulating about what is going on and who’s responsible for creating the problem(s).

So has Mr. Elliott created or contributed to a negative and toxic atmosphere in the RCMP?
That is not a simple question that can be answered Yes or No – there are too many other factors that come into play that must not be ignored if the objective is to create sustainable and long-term improvements in how the organization functions.

Or is he getting the job he was hired to do done?
- And in the process rattling a few chains by stirring up hornets nest in the Old Boy’s Club that is the establishment status quo? Again, not a question with a simple answer. Jumping to either conclusion too quickly and without serious research and analysis to determine objectively what is happening risks reaching erroneous conclusions based on assumptions and not facts. The potential to escalate the situation and make it even worse than it is now cannot be overstated.

As mediators who specialize in conducting Workplace Assessments and group interventions in large complex conflicts in dysfunctional situations, we recognize the challenges in trying to sort out what is rhetoric, what is rumour and what is the actual reality of what happens on a day to day operational basis.

Any credible and effective Workplace Assessment and Renewal Process needs to explore the infrastructure of the organization (policies, procedures, decision making structures and accountability, design and structure etc), its organizational culture and the individual and group dynamics that characterize the day to day operational reality. The patterns that show up are good indicators of areas that need further analysis and research. In other words – see a pattern? Dig there…

While the patterns related to the infrastructure of the organization are important, an even greater emphasis needs to be places on the human patterns that exist. How do people get along? What types of interactions does the organization reward? What is the leadership style? How do people describe the situation and their role in it? Are they able to see their role in the situation or do they see themselves as the misused and abused victim? Are there personal or hidden agendas that are influencing what people are saying or doing – and that may not be readily obvious?

Part of the challenge is that each of us has a vision of ourselves and who we are. We may see ourselves as competent, intelligent, honest, a capable communicator, someone who gets tough jobs done, a person with integrity or whatever our vision of ourselves may be. The problem is that others don’t necessarily share the same view. Others may see us in a very different light. For example:
- I see myself as helpful and supportive. You see me as pushy and in your face.
- I see myself as quiet and reserved. You see me as cold and withdrawn.
- I see myself as efficient and effective. You see me as uncaring and abusive.
- I see myself as friendly and outgoing. You see me as rude and obnoxious.

If I go through life believing that the rest of the world shares my vision of myself there will likely be problems. And as I make choices about how to deal with situations, I need to be aware of the how those choices may be seen by others.

Typically leaders are ‘take charge’ people. That’s how they end up in leadership positions. They tend to be dominant personalities who are solution focused and in many cases seem almost ‘driven’ to get the job done. In challenging situations, crises or tight time lines the situation is often intensified by the pressure to achieve despite the odds and so our leader will stride in, take control and in many cases bulldoze right over those around them.

When the need to get the job done predominates and takes over, the value in engaging others, building relationships or creating a team environment can get totally lost. Essentially it drops off the radar screen altogether as it is often perceived to be a waste of time and energy when there are more important things to get done – namely fixing the problem.

When asked, those in leadership positions will justify the choices they have made by the end results they were trying to achieve – ‘the end justifies the means’ rationale. And they are often totally oblivious to the collateral damage left in their wake. It is typically a case of ‘the axe forgets and the log remembers”.

This can create huge credibility issues for a leader as people disengage, withdraw their support and transfer their loyalty and allegiance to others they believe to be better suited to a leadership role. Or they may go into protective mode where the primary focus is self-protection, risk avoidance and trying to stay out of the line of fire.

In organizations when these dynamics are at play, the wariness, fear of repercussions, disillusionment and sense of needing to protect oneself can create a culture of passive-aggression leading to covert sabotage and resistance or when it hits the pain point where the situation is no longer tolerable, it may lead to mutiny.

How can anything positive come from a nasty situation such as this?

It is actually easier to deal with things at this level than when people are apathetic and indifferent. When the pain point is reached there is a great deal of motivation to deal with the situation and that motivation can be leveraged to create the necessary changes to improve the situation. Mutiny gets attention at all levels and that attention at the level of senior management or employers generally results in a decision that action is needed to address the situation. Resources are allocated, people are motivated to do something and providing a constructive and credible process for change is offered, the potential for a positive outcome is good.

Ruth Sirman is a veteran in the world of workplace mediation specializing in assisting groups to find practical and workable solutions to seemingly intractable conflicts. Her professional practice takes her across North America working with federal, provincial and territorial governments, corporations, NGO’s, churches, communities and the courts. She designed and teaches the acclaimed Power to Resolve Program including modules on Discovering Your Resolution Quotient, I’m OK – It’s Everyone Else Who Needs Help!!, Mastering Difficult Situations and People You Find Challenging, From Discord to Dialogue, Organizational Conflict 911. Her website is www.canmediate.com.

Bullying - A School or Workplace Problem?

In my experience as a mediator, the main difference between school yard bullying and workplace bullying is the height and age of the players. Other than that they are scarily similar and very familiar to many of us who have witnessed or lived one or both scenarios.

In a kid’s world:
It’s early September and you are starting a new grade in a new school. You are looking forward to making new friends, having fun, playing sports and maybe even learning something. You head off on the first day with your new clothes, new pencil case, new notebooks and a backpack full of dreams of how wonderful it will be. But somehow, it doesn’t work out that way. You find yourself standing alone on the playground with other kids taunting you about your appearance, your hair colour or the fact that you aren’t good at soccer. It gets worse until you are afraid to open your mouth in class because every time you do, you have to listen to nasty comments, laughter and teasing. The teacher doesn’t seem to notice… and you feel very alone.

In the adult world:
You made it through the interview process and you’ve just landed your dream job. You show up on the first day with a new outfit, a route map to get you there on time, some money in your pocket for lunch and great expectations that you will be able to make a solid contribution to the organization, the clients and your career. You smile at everyone, talk to people, offer suggestions and generally try to make yourself useful and build relationships. But somehow it just doesn’t seem to be working. You find yourself eating alone in the lunch room, when you say hello to people the greetings are not returned and your ideas and suggestions are ignored or put down. After a while you hesitate to open your mouth or offer any input to the group as it seems to just result in more negativity. The manager doesn’t seem to notice and you hesitate to bring it up as you’re not sure how they will react and the last thing you want to do is make things worse….and you feel very alone.

Two different scenarios that share a lot of similarities. Typically they both result in exclusion, isolation, hurt and a sense of hopelessness on the part of those living the experience. We have seen situations in both the child and the adult world where the long term implications can lead to drastic results. Sometimes the negativity goes internal and the mental anguish created results in depression, physical ailments or suicide. Other times the negativity caused by that internal mental anguish leads to an external loss of control and workplace violence against others such as the shootings at Columbine High School or OC Transpo. In either case the costs are enormous and need to be addressed long before it reaches that level of impact.

What are the costs of bullying? They are huge and varied. As an example there may be:
- Enormous levels of hurt and loss of self esteem
- Loss of the sense of personal safety which ranks as a primary concern on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
- Increased turnover rates as people choose to leave and hope to find another job where they feel safe.
- Loss of productivity as bullying creates a huge level of distraction for those involved that takes precedence over getting the job done.
- Increased costs to health care, mental health services, EAP programs and other resources
- Distraction from our ability to function effectively – as a parent, as a partner, as a community member, as a citizen.

How can we bully-proof our workplaces? There are many factors that contribute to workplace bullying and in our experience every situation is different, however there are some common actions that can reduce the likelihood of bullying being an issue:
- Setting standards of behaviour and ensuring they are followed
- Creating healthy organizational cultures where this type of behaviour is not condoned
- Leadership actively modeling positive working relationships and respect.
- Managers and leaders actively monitoring the workplace and being aware of situations where bullying may be happening particularly with new employees.
- Recognizing the warning signs of a ‘Culture of Condoning’ that may be silently supporting and rewarding inappropriate actions or behaviour
o Inappropriate jokes particularly at the expense of particular groups or individuals
o Apologies that seem insincere or that are offered repeatedly – “Sorry - I probably shouldn’t tell this joke” or “Oops – I need to watch out for the Harassment Police!” or similar off the cuff remarks
o People who seem overly nervous, quiet or reluctant to render an opinion or take a stand
o Comments such as “Oh that’s just the way ___ is – s/he doesn’t mean anything by it” or “You don’t want to bring that up – the last thing you want to do is get ___ gunning for you…”
- Taking constructive action to support the victims and hold the perpetrators to account.
- Recognizing the type of behaviour and actions that are rewarded in our workplaces – do they support healthy workplaces or are we inadvertently rewarding behaviour that is creating problems.
- Exercising solid leadership that includes professionalism and acceptance of differences.
- Creating an inclusive and positive working environment where issues are raised, discussed constructively and problems addressed.
- Having appropriate policies and recourse mechanisms in place that will ensure that people have effective ways to address problems when they do arise.
- Listening when someone says they need to talk and creating an environment where people feel it’s safe to talk without fear of repercussions.

This becomes even more challenging if the bully is also the boss or in some other senior position as they may present one face to their peers and superiors and a totally different face to their subordinates.

The key to prevention and addressing the situation is a recognition that this can and does happen – even in the best of situations. And when it does show signs of happening, it will not get better by ignoring, denying or minimizing it. It’s up to us to determine what our children learn about how to interact with others… otherwise the school yard bullies of today will be the workplace bullies of tomorrow.

Ruth Sirman is a veteran in the world of workplace mediation specializing in assisting groups to find practical and workable solutions to seemingly intractable conflicts. Her professional practice takes her across North America working with federal, provincial and territorial governments, corporations, NGO’s, churches, communities and the courts. She designed and teaches the acclaimed Power to Resolve Program including modules on Discovering Your Resolution Quotient, I’m OK – It’s Everyone Else Who Needs Help!!, Mastering Difficult Situations and People You Find Challenging, From Discord to Dialogue, Organziational Conflict 911. Her website is www.canmediate.com.

Leadership and the Global Crisis

We human beings are pretty smart folks! We've sent people (and monkeys) to the moon, built a space station, invented ways to take pictures on Mars, built huge dams that change the course of major waterways, created technology that lets us communicate instantaneously virtually anywhere in the world and lots more... Yep - there's no doubt about it we've got the smarts to do just about anything...

So if we're so smart, then why are we in such a mess? Globally our environment is deteriorating around our ears, wars are being waged in more places than we can count, children die of starvation by the thousands and our ground water is too polluted to drink in much of the world. Much of this is not as easily visible in North America as it is in other parts of the globe. We're pretty insulated over here from the harsh realities facing our brothers and sisters around the world.

Part of the problem as I see it is that those of us who can make a difference tend to avoid the problem. It's just easier that way. Afterall, if I were to admit my role in creating it, then I would be accountable to do something about it. And many people are now starting to recognize the magnitude of the problems we have created - and the implications those problems can have. Typically when something goes wrong our first instinct as human beings is to look around to see whose fault it is. After all - someone must be to blame! And there can be great relief in figuring out who is responsible... providing it's not us! Because whoever is at fault needs to fix things and make them right again. So we spend countless hours searching for someone we can pin the problem on.

The problem is that blame is a waste of time and energy! Blame always looks backwards and it can drain enormous amounts of energy that could be better employed solving the crises. It is always an education to listen to the various political leaders who have the "blamestorming" game down to a science. Just once I would like to hear someone stand up and quietly say "My government has failed to take the required action to prevent this situation from becoming a crisis - and as of today our priorities have changed. As of today, our focus will not be on getting re-elected, but rather on looking beyond our own agendas to analyse the crises we face and see how we can collaborate with other leaders to solve the problems". What a refreshing change that would be!

So what prevents this from happening? Well, when I am wrapped up in my own problems, it is hard for me to appreciate yours. So if our leaders are focused primarily on getting elected and then re-elected, how can we expect them to work constructively on major problems that may require hugely unpopular changes to resolve them? And if their terms are only 2-5 years long - will they have the incentive to take action with long term vision (beyond their own terms)? It is unlikely.

So how do we solve this dilemma? There are no quick fixes to this one but there is one irrefutable fact. When human beings face a major crisis and perceive their lives to be under threat we tend to set our own agendas aside and work together to deal with the greater problem. This happens all the time in terms of natural disasters - fires, floods, ice/snow/rain storms, earthquakes, tsunamis etc... What will it take to help us begin to work together in advance of the crisis?

I don't know - but I hope we can apply the massive collective intelligence we have to find a solution. After all the definition of insanity is to do the same thing again and again and expect different results! I hope we're smarter than that!

Conflict Resolution Workout!!

Take a few minutes and think about:

1. What situations are happening in our world that you don't know enough about?
2. How can you get accurate information about what is happening?
3. Who else has a stake in this problem?
4. What action could you take to invite these individuals or groups to start working together on the problem(s)?
5. What obstacles might get in your way, in terms of getting things moving?
6. What steps can you take to overcome these challenges?

My grandmother used to say that 'Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal..." - wise words!!Create an awesome week!

Ruth Sirman, CanMediate International, is a professional mediator and trainer who teaches the same skills she has used since 1996 to help groups resolve conflicts in government, corporations, communities, churches and schools. For more information, check out her website at http://www.canmediate.com/.

What is Your Leadership RQ? - Conflict Management for Leaders

Has unexpected conflict ever created serious problems in your organization?
Do 20% of your employees consume 80% of your time?
Have you ever walked away from a situation unhappy with the way you handled it? Or laid awake at night trying to figure out the best way to handle a situation?

Leadership is one of the most used words in the workplace vocabulary these days. But what does it mean? Is it where our name sits on the Org Chart? Is it the job classification category that we hold or the number of direct reports we have? Is it our vision for the organization and our capacity to take the organization in that direction? Is it the personal skills and attributes that we bring to the role that we have? Can one be a leader without the fancy office, the position title and the big salary? What influence does ‘who’ we are have on how we lead?

If we take a group of individuals and bring them together, give them a mandate and a job to do, provide some resources, develop policies and procedures and put someone in charge we have created an organization. But not every organization meets its mandate or achieves what it set out to do. What makes the difference between a group that efficiently gets the job done and one that limps along achieving mediocre results at best (and typically making excuses for the ongoing failure to produce results).

The level and style of leadership in the organization is often the tipping point between success and failure to achieve results. There are many factors that influence what is going on in an organization but few things have the potential to derail the group’s capacity to function normally like a good conflict. And unresolved or poorly resolved conflict can rapidly escalate a minor problem into a negative dynamic that can create unparalleled levels of dysfunctionality, stress, tension and disruption.

The style of leadership in managing interpersonal and organizational conflicts is a major factor influencing the way employees react when they find themselves facing problems. Every human being has a default pattern that defines our instinctive reactions in conflict situations. Most of us are unaware what that pattern is, where it came from and whether it is supporting our success or impeding it. As leaders, our level of influence in our organizations is significant. Thus our own personal Conflict Blueprint is a key factor in defining our leadership style, particularly in those times when our leadership is most important – in situations of crisis and conflict.

Ruth Sirman is a professional mediator and trainer who teaches the same skills she has used since 1996 to help groups resolve conflicts in government, corporations, communities, churches and schools. For more information, check out her website at www.canmediate.com.