Workplace conflict expert to speak about personal responses to conflict on Roger’s Daytime-Ottawa
Ruth Sirman, Mediator and Workplace Conflict Expert, will be appearing on Rogers Daytime Ottawa on Wednesday November 17, 2010 at 11:10 am to discuss our individual responses to conflict when it arises and how that response can escalate conflicts – in the workplace and in other areas of life.
What do you bring to the table in a conflict situation? Does it help or hinder resolving it?
Every human being has a default pattern that defines our instinctive reactions in conflict situations. Most of us are unaware what that pattern is, where it came from and whether it is supporting our success or impeding it. However, our own personal Conflict Blueprint is a key factor in defining our reactions, our personal leadership style, and our choices particularly in those times when our response is most important – in situations of crisis and conflict.
While there are many factors that influence what goes on in an organization, few things have the potential to derail the group’s capacity to function normally like a good conflict. And unresolved or poorly resolved conflict can rapidly escalate a minor problem into a negative dynamic that can create unparalleled levels of dysfunctionality, stress, tension and disruption. Everyone has a default Conflict Blueprint that influences their own personal reactions. In a workplace the combination of personal styles plus the organizational culture and the level and style of leadership in the organization can heavily influence the success (or failure) of the organization to achieve the results it requires for success.
“As mediators who specialize in working with large complex conflicts in dysfunctional situations, we recognize the challenges in creating work teams with positive dynamics and the capacity to deal effectively with the day to day conflicts and stressors that happen. Understanding the role that these default conflict drivers we all have, can help us to determine if our default style of addressing conflict is supporting our success or getting in our way” Sirman explains.
The increasing focus on creating healthy working environments puts an added amount of attention on conflict in the workplace. As employers, managers and employees work to create positive and healthy working environments, greater understanding and knowledge of what causes conflicts to escalate can make the difference between a dysfunctional working environment that risks complaints, grievances and investigations and a healthy working environment that contributes to a successful and productive organization.
The Conflict Resolution Workout!!
Take a few moments and think about:
1. How do you react when someone upsets you at work? at home? (are the reactions similar or different?)
2. How is your style of reacting similar or different from the styles of others in your family (mother, father, siblings, grandparents, others...)?
3. What about your reaction style works to resolve the conflict?
4. What does not work? (ie makes things worse)
5. What could you do differently that would increase your ability to resolve conflicts effectively?
Ruth Sirman is a veteran in the world of workplace mediation specializing in assisting groups to find practical and workable solutions to seemingly intractable conflicts. Her professional practice takes her across North America working with federal, provincial and territorial governments, corporations, NGO’s, churches, communities and the courts. She designed and teaches the acclaimed Power to Resolve Program including modules on Discovering Your Resolution Quotient, I’m OK – It’s Everyone Else Who Needs Help!!, Mastering Difficult Situations and People You Find Challenging, From Discord to Dialogue, Organziational Conflict 911. Her website is www.canmediate.com
Wednesday 17 November 2010
Sunday 14 November 2010
This past week was the Systems In Action conference put on by Pegasus Communications in Boston USA- good sessions, great keynotes and lots of thought provoking discussions on the issues facing us in organizations, communities and globally. The following was running through my head at 5am on the final day... enjoy...
Systems Thinking Song - Pegasus Systems Conference
Written by Ruth Sirman
Tune: She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain When They Come
We’ll be looping on the mountain when they come
Cause Pegasus has brought us here to have some fun
We’ve brought fears and dreams and stories
We’ve brought history and choices
And we’ll never stop until the sun’s long gone.
There’ll be mindfulness and artistry galore
As we strive to help the world discover more
Of the ways that we’re connected
As the old ways are rejected
And th’politicians will not even know the score…
And when Daniel got up on the stage to speak
About generations 1 and 2 and 3
We learned what it takes to move through
All the stages that we need to
So our leaders can ensure we’re at our peak
And then Per got out his Lego and his toys
And we built the world’s worst boss with glee and joy
And we found that when our hands worked
It helped to make our brains work
And the metaphors became part of our voice.
And then climate change took over for the night
As the leaders told us of the world’s plight
And the A’s and B’s got worried
Cause they’ll likely need to scurry
When the water levels rise to certain heights
Cause the bathtub’s getting fuller by the day
And the drain’s too small to take it all away
And we need to wake up quickly
Cause the problem’s getting sticky
And_ changing what we do’s the only way
So better not to buy a house along the shore
Unless the world_ quickly figures out the score
Cause the ice caps are a-melting
And the rain forest is getting
Cut down so we can eat Kit Kats from the store
And when in our labs we tend to go insane
Making compounds that support material gains
But our systems do not mimic
Nature’s strategy and gimmicks
And the laws of thermodynamics will still reign
But global nature has the answers to our prayers
If we just can figure out the wisdom there
Water, hydrogen and carbon
Are the elements of stardom
And there’s no polluting water land or air
So it’s time for all who live in worlds of ease
To wake up _ to the call of others pleas
Paper cups and bottled water
Plastics, chemicals and paper
Nature’s warning us there’s no impunity
Then-Andy showed us systems that have found the way
To address the in-equities of time and place
Against overwhelming o_dds
They’re results have changed their worlds
And the 15 F words really led the way.
And then Frances came and shared the world is small
And that if we want to make it work for all
We face challenges tremendous
Though the-possibilities are endless
But YBG and-IBG won’t help at all
And the tough world of the Middles came to light
When Barry talked about their challenges and plight
O_f Middles feeling torn
Being lost and forlorn_
As without integration they’ve no might
Then Peter talked to us about the world today
And the power of the questions that we state
They needs heart and soul and meaning
They needs relevance and planning
And the power point can then be put away…
And the kids have figured out how to resolve
Playground conflicts and fights that hurt us all
When they have the tools required
Then the adults can get fired
From the need to try to fix what they’ve evolved
And as adults we could learn a lot from them
Cause our mental models cause us great problems
Finger pointing, hurt and blame
Cause vicious cycles that can maim
Our capacity to understand the game.
And the World Café provided time to talk
A bout what it means to be here in this spot
And we worked and we challenged
Our intentions and our actions
And we doodled it right there upon the cloth.
And then David asked us what we all had learned
About possibilities and things designed to warn
Of the impact of our choices
As we listened to the voices
Asking what if all we said could now be born?
And we need to have a truly World Café
Where we link the people who have come to say
What they’re thinking and their dreaming
What they’re fearing and their scheming
That will deal with the messes that we’ve made..
And it’s all recorded up there on the wall
Cause our Kelvey worked to capture one and all
With her markers and her whimsy
With her artistry and wisdom
She has added depth and insight to it all
So then as we start to move out from this space
Spreading our infectious energy with grace
Help us take our great ambitions
and apply them with commitment
so that the entire world will run this race!
And the grassroots will be rising at the time
With their hopes and dreams and energy sublime
They’ll be changing up the old ways
for the new ones that will help to
Save the world that we’ll inhabit for all time.
©2010 Ruth Sirman
Conflict Resolution Workout!!
We live in many different systems within the context of our lives - workplaces, families, communities and the global system of which we are all members. Take a few minutes to reflect on the qualities of your key systems:
1. How would you describe the health of the systems where you spend your time? - great, good, not so good, toxic?
2. What is one small change that you could make that would make a positive difference in the system?
Ruth Sirman is a veteran in the world of workplace mediation specializing in assisting groups to find practical and workable solutions to seemingly intractable conflicts. Her professional practice takes her across North America working with federal, provincial and territorial governments, corporations, NGO’s, churches, communities and the courts. She designed and teaches the acclaimed Power to Resolve Program including modules on Discovering Your Resolution Quotient, I’m OK – It’s Everyone Else Who Needs Help!!, Mastering Difficult Situations and People You Find Challenging, From Discord to Dialogue, Organziational Conflict 911. Her website is www.canmediate.com
Systems Thinking Song - Pegasus Systems Conference
Written by Ruth Sirman
Tune: She’ll be Coming Round the Mountain When They Come
We’ll be looping on the mountain when they come
Cause Pegasus has brought us here to have some fun
We’ve brought fears and dreams and stories
We’ve brought history and choices
And we’ll never stop until the sun’s long gone.
There’ll be mindfulness and artistry galore
As we strive to help the world discover more
Of the ways that we’re connected
As the old ways are rejected
And th’politicians will not even know the score…
And when Daniel got up on the stage to speak
About generations 1 and 2 and 3
We learned what it takes to move through
All the stages that we need to
So our leaders can ensure we’re at our peak
And then Per got out his Lego and his toys
And we built the world’s worst boss with glee and joy
And we found that when our hands worked
It helped to make our brains work
And the metaphors became part of our voice.
And then climate change took over for the night
As the leaders told us of the world’s plight
And the A’s and B’s got worried
Cause they’ll likely need to scurry
When the water levels rise to certain heights
Cause the bathtub’s getting fuller by the day
And the drain’s too small to take it all away
And we need to wake up quickly
Cause the problem’s getting sticky
And_ changing what we do’s the only way
So better not to buy a house along the shore
Unless the world_ quickly figures out the score
Cause the ice caps are a-melting
And the rain forest is getting
Cut down so we can eat Kit Kats from the store
And when in our labs we tend to go insane
Making compounds that support material gains
But our systems do not mimic
Nature’s strategy and gimmicks
And the laws of thermodynamics will still reign
But global nature has the answers to our prayers
If we just can figure out the wisdom there
Water, hydrogen and carbon
Are the elements of stardom
And there’s no polluting water land or air
So it’s time for all who live in worlds of ease
To wake up _ to the call of others pleas
Paper cups and bottled water
Plastics, chemicals and paper
Nature’s warning us there’s no impunity
Then-Andy showed us systems that have found the way
To address the in-equities of time and place
Against overwhelming o_dds
They’re results have changed their worlds
And the 15 F words really led the way.
And then Frances came and shared the world is small
And that if we want to make it work for all
We face challenges tremendous
Though the-possibilities are endless
But YBG and-IBG won’t help at all
And the tough world of the Middles came to light
When Barry talked about their challenges and plight
O_f Middles feeling torn
Being lost and forlorn_
As without integration they’ve no might
Then Peter talked to us about the world today
And the power of the questions that we state
They needs heart and soul and meaning
They needs relevance and planning
And the power point can then be put away…
And the kids have figured out how to resolve
Playground conflicts and fights that hurt us all
When they have the tools required
Then the adults can get fired
From the need to try to fix what they’ve evolved
And as adults we could learn a lot from them
Cause our mental models cause us great problems
Finger pointing, hurt and blame
Cause vicious cycles that can maim
Our capacity to understand the game.
And the World Café provided time to talk
A bout what it means to be here in this spot
And we worked and we challenged
Our intentions and our actions
And we doodled it right there upon the cloth.
And then David asked us what we all had learned
About possibilities and things designed to warn
Of the impact of our choices
As we listened to the voices
Asking what if all we said could now be born?
And we need to have a truly World Café
Where we link the people who have come to say
What they’re thinking and their dreaming
What they’re fearing and their scheming
That will deal with the messes that we’ve made..
And it’s all recorded up there on the wall
Cause our Kelvey worked to capture one and all
With her markers and her whimsy
With her artistry and wisdom
She has added depth and insight to it all
So then as we start to move out from this space
Spreading our infectious energy with grace
Help us take our great ambitions
and apply them with commitment
so that the entire world will run this race!
And the grassroots will be rising at the time
With their hopes and dreams and energy sublime
They’ll be changing up the old ways
for the new ones that will help to
Save the world that we’ll inhabit for all time.
©2010 Ruth Sirman
Conflict Resolution Workout!!
We live in many different systems within the context of our lives - workplaces, families, communities and the global system of which we are all members. Take a few minutes to reflect on the qualities of your key systems:
1. How would you describe the health of the systems where you spend your time? - great, good, not so good, toxic?
2. What is one small change that you could make that would make a positive difference in the system?
Ruth Sirman is a veteran in the world of workplace mediation specializing in assisting groups to find practical and workable solutions to seemingly intractable conflicts. Her professional practice takes her across North America working with federal, provincial and territorial governments, corporations, NGO’s, churches, communities and the courts. She designed and teaches the acclaimed Power to Resolve Program including modules on Discovering Your Resolution Quotient, I’m OK – It’s Everyone Else Who Needs Help!!, Mastering Difficult Situations and People You Find Challenging, From Discord to Dialogue, Organziational Conflict 911. Her website is www.canmediate.com
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