What's Buried Under the 'Snow' in Your World?

It’s raining today and the massive snow banks are starting to melt. It’s that time of year when things that have been buried begin to reappear… wet, mucky and not necessarily in the same shape they were when they got buried… In the spring the countryside has a dirty, messy, cluttered look to it that can be depressing. Isn’t this a similar dynamic to what happens in situations where there are problems that have not been cleaned up / resolved properly? We often leave things unresolved and unfinished and then life happens… and those unfinished and unresolved ‘things’ can get buried under life’s new issues and challenges… but just like the detritus buried under the snow, they don’t go away! And unlike the garbage on the lawn they don’t just sit there waiting for the snow to melt, when it’s unresolved issues / conflicts that get buried, they will fester and grow until they burst through the covering blanket of the present…

Spring is a time of rebirth and a time of new beginnings! In order for spring to happen though, the new growth has to be able to get past all the muck left from the previous seasons… That can be a big challenge. In conflict situations, in order to get past the litter that has accumulated from all the past interactions there has to be a willingness to pick up the residual ‘stuff’ that is hidden and deal with it in a constructive fashion. Any effort to move forward without the willingness to address the underlying issues will create a shaky future – built on the shifting sands of past unresolved problems! This does not mean getting stuck in the past but it does mean creating a constructive environment in which the issues that need to be addressed get addressed and people are provided with a well set up and well run process that provides them with the opportunity to examine the factors that have contributed to the evolution of the current reality and find constructive and productive means of resolving these factors. This can be a daunting challenge when people are caught in the paralyzing negative energy of fear, frustration and angst. It is unrealistic to assume that a group can move beyond this paralysis without help! With the appropriate help and support, people have an incredible Power to Resolve the conflicts they face, providing they are willing to invest the time, energy and resources to clean up the mess and open the way for new growth and change.

The Conflict Resolution Workout:
Take a few minutes and analyze your situation as objectively as possible:
1. What is hidden under the snow in your world? (old issues, fights, assumptions, hurts...)
2. Who else is a player in these past situations?
3. What costs have these unresolved issues created for you? For others?
4. What impact has this had on you? Your family?
5. What could you do - even small efforts - to change the dynamics?
6. Do you need help to make it work?

Ruth Sirman, CanMediate International, is a professional mediator and trainer who teaches the same skills she has used since 1996 to help groups resolve conflicts in government, corporations, communities, churches and schools. For more information, check out her website at http://www.canmediate.com/.